


One Ameowzing Day

by spacedaydreamer



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games), Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward - Fandom, Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma - Fandom
Genre: F/M, also it's childhood friends sigma and diana, also some minor ztd spoilers, even if the world forgets i will never forget that it's canon Sigma can talk to cats, it's only rated T because phi comes in and starts cussing, just pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 15:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9079501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacedaydreamer/pseuds/spacedaydreamer
Summary: Sigma finds a very special cat, and he can't wait to tell his best friend Diana.





	

“Hey, look, it’s the cat-boy! Sigma, Sigma, over here!”

A pout formed on the young boy’s face as he heard another kid shouting at him- one of the other kids in his class, definitely making fun of him.

“What, are you off to go see that creepy old mansion again? You know it’s totally haunted, right? If you aren’t careful, the witch who lives there is gonna gobble you right up!”

Sigma shook his head defiantly, unwilling to bend to the kid’s teasing. He knew his classmates thought he was weird, but he wasn’t going to let them get under his skin- and he knew better than to think the house was haunted. Ghosts weren’t real, and neither was magic; that was little kid stuff! And despite his age, he _definitely_ wasn’t a little kid. Nope, Sigma Klim was the most mature ten year old you’d find- at least, in his opinion.

* * *

“Y-You know, Sigma… y-you wouldn’t get teased if you didn’t go to that old house anymore…”

“Ah, don’t even worry about it, Diana! Besides, the cats depend on me- I couldn’t just stop showing up anymore!”

Sigma was talking to one of his few friends, a girl in his class named Diana. She’d moved to Sigma’s city in the beginning of September, and although she’d said she’d only be in town for a year, they’d become fast friends.

Diana had said that Sigma was like an open book, he shared anything and everything he found interesting. And so he’d started always bringing things from home for her to look at- his rock collection, his DS, his father’s textbooks that were lightyears beyond either of their comprehensions- they’d look at it all together, while Sigma’d explain it all. He’d offered to bring Diana along to the cat mansion, but her parents were very strict with how she came and went from school, always there to pick her up precisely when school let out.

“W-well, I guess you’re right, Sigma… b-but still, you should at least watch out for the witch. W-witches _are_ real, you know!”

“Diana, I’ve told you before! All that stuff’s just silly superstition- magic’s all a load of baloney.”

She looked a bit hurt when Sigma denied so quickly, and he backpedalled furiously, an embarrassed blush on his face.

“B-but, I mean, i-if you say that they’re real, then I’ll believe you, Diana. I promise, I’ll be careful.”

“Pinky promise?”

“Ok, yeah. Pinky promise.”

* * *

There was a large smile on Sigma’s face later in the day as he ran up the steps of the old cat-mansion, carrying a brown bag in his arms. As per usual, it was filled with the extras from his school lunch, and he sat down on the front steps pulling the food out. A bit of a turkey breast, a slice of ham, and a whole tin of salmon- he was glad his mom thought he was a big eater, because it helped him keep up his little charade.

It didn’t take long after opening the salmon tin before a few cats started to show up, attracted by the scent and sound. He’d set the food out for them all to pick at, and he smiled as a couple of the cats brushed up against his arms in greeting.

He knew some of the other kids in class thought he was weird for always coming to stop by this old place every day, but he just couldn’t help it. Cats were by far Sigma’s favourite animal, but his mom was allergic- this was the closest he could ever get to actually owning a cat, so he’d enjoy his little afternoons with his feline companions.

His promise to Diana earlier in the day had all but fled his mind as he played with the cats, pulling out a couple of toys that he kept stored in his bag at all times in case he ran into strays. He’d been so distracted by his playtime that he missed the voice talking to him at first.

“…Sigma? Child, did you hear me?”

_“Aiiiiiiiii!”_

The sudden voice made him jump, dropping the cat toy and looking around. He couldn’t see anybody nearby… no way- was it actually the witch? Was she real?

“Please don’t eat me! I-I just came here to take care of the cats, I’ll get off your property right away!”

“Don’t worry yourself, child. Open your eyes- I am nothing to fear.”

Sigma hadn’t even realized that he’d squeezed his eyes shut in fear, trembling slightly. What was he doing? He wasn’t afraid! He was a whole ten years old, he was in double digits! Far too old to be scared like this. And when his eyes next opened, the fear and worry faded into pure wonder and amazement.

The one talking was a pure white cat, with long and soft fur that almost seemed to glow in the light. Her eyes were clear and kind, a gentle blue that seemed to carry many years of experience. Sigma’s jaw dropped as he stared at the beautiful cat, who was seated before him.

“Sigma, you have shown your extreme kindness to the cats who live here. Because of your generosity and caring I have appeared before you, to offer you a gift.”

“A… gift?” Sigma had no possible idea what that could be. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly as he spoke, trying to think what the cat could mean. “You don’t have to, Ms. Cat. I did all that because I like cats, that’s all.”

The beautiful cat laughed, a soft musical chuckle, before continuing to speak.

“It is nothing physical that I am going to give you, Sigma. Because of your dedication, I’ve given you the gift of communication with my kin. From this day forwards, you will always be able to understand the speech of cats, and speak back to them.”

Sigma’s eyes shone with excitement as the cat explained her gift. For someone who had so readily denied magic earlier, he certainly was willing to believe in it now- hell, he’d believe in magic for the rest of his life! This was just completely incredible…

“Wow, thanks Ms. Cat! This is so awesome!”

“I have only one warning for you, Sigma. You must never speak of this gift to anyone, or a horrible curse will befall you…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t!”

He smiled and gave the cat a very enthusiastic thumbs up, before spending the rest of his time at the house talking with all the cats in the area. Most of them were very good conversationalists, and by the time Sigma had packed up and left, he’d completely forgotten about his promise to the beautiful white cat.

* * *

Sigma spent the entirety of his next morning practically vibrating with excitement, just waiting for recess so he could tell Diana all about his new gift. However, he didn’t just want to tell her- no, he wanted to show her!

“Diana, do you think you could ask your parents if you could come over to my house to play? There’s something amazing I’ve just _gotta_ show you, but it’s at the old cat mansion.”

“A-are you sure, Sigma? I-I’d have to lie to my mom and dad…”

She looked horribly nervous, but Sigma just gave a lighthearted shake of his head.

“Don’t even worry about it! I’ll get my mom to drive us, so it’s not like we won’t have any supervision. And besides, we can actually play at my house when we get back home! So really, it’s a win-win.”

“W-well… ok.”

She seemed to have made up her mind, a determined smile brightening up her face.

“I’ll ask mom if I can go over on Saturday, ok?”

“Ok!”

* * *

Their plans were agreed upon by their parents, and it was bright and early on Saturday morning that Sigma and Diana arrived at the old cat mansion, Sigma holding onto a nervous Diana’s hand and leading her forwards up to the steps, a tin of salmon in his hands.

“Ok, Diana, y’know how you said this place was haunted?”

“Y-Yes?”

“Well, you were totally wrong!” Her face fell, and Sigma realized that had come out horribly wrong. “No, nononono! It’s not _haunted_ Diana, it’s magical!”

“Magical?”

“Yeah- just watch me!”

One of the cats living in the house had shown up, and Sigma turned to it and started chatting, like they were old friends. Diana watched on with an incredibly perplexed look, until Sigma picked up the cat, holding it out to Diana, with a proud grin on his face.

“See? I can talk to cats!”

“U-um, well, I can see that, Sigma…”

“No, it’s not that simple! You see, there was this beautiful magic white cat! She showed up and gave me magic- I can completely understand what they’re saying to me. I think she mentioned something else too, but I kinda forget…”

Just as Sigma trailed off, the sound of thunder boomed nearby. Sigma and Diana both jumped, and the cat in Sigma’s arms scrambled out of his grip, running back inside the mansion. They looked around nervously, when a loud, threatening voice could be heard.

_“You weren’t supposed to **tell** , Mr. Klim. You broke your promise, so now you shall face the consequences!”_

The blood drained from Sigma’s face as a black cat padded out from an unseen shadow, fur blowing and an ethereal breeze.

“W-what? N-no, paw-lease, th-this’s gotta be a misunderstanding!”

“P-Paw-lease?”

Diana looked at Sigma questioningly, but he had absolutely no idea where the cat pun had come from. A horrid laugh echoed from the black cat, whose yellow eyes seemed to pierce Sigma’s soul.

_“Your curse, young human, is to speak only in cat puns for the rest of eternity! Now even the cats you converse with will find you odd and somewhat irritating- Ahahahahahaa!!!”_

The cat disappeared in a poof of black smoke, and Sigma turned to Diana, desperate.

“D-Diana, what do I do? This is paw-ful! This isn’t just a litter tic, this is major claws fur concern!”

“I-I-I don’t know, Sigma! I-I don’t know!”

She looked like she was about to cry, and Sigma wasn’t too far behind. Was this truly his destiny? To be forced to speak in cat puns for the rest of his life? He bit his lower lip, trying to hold back tears, when he heard a familiar voice.

“Sigma, you shouldn’t have told. However, Dusk’s curse was perhaps a touch cruel.”

The white cat had appeared again, much to Sigma’s surprise.

“M-Ms. Cat! I’m pawfully sorry, c-can’t you furgive me? I pawmise that I’ll never break a pawmise again fur the rest of my life!”

The cat sighed, something very similar to how his mom would sigh after he accidentally broke a plate. Not angry, just… disappointed.

“I’m sorry, Sigma, but not even I can completely break Dusk’s curse. However, I can lessen it. You will still be cursed to talk in cat puns for the rest of your life, but only while talking about, or to, cats.”

“Wait, I can still talk to cats?”

The cat nodded, as though it was an obvious answer.

“Yes, you can. Just as I cannot undo Dusk’s curse, Dusk cannot undo my gift.”

The cat turned to leave, when Diana spoke up.

“W-wait, um, M-Ms. Cat… th-thank you! For helping Sigma… a-and, um, what’s your name?”

It paused for a moment, before giving what could only be described as a smile.

“You’re welcome, small one. And my name is Dawn- Dusk is my sister. And before you ask, we are not witches- we are guardian spirits of the cats, protectors of those who live in this place.”

Diana’s question had been answered before she even had a chance to ask it, and she nodded, a smile on her face. Seeing no further interruption, Dawn walked off, disappearing into the daylight. Sigma and Diana just stared at each other for a while, not quite sure how to take in all that had just happened.

“S-so, um… C-can you talk, Sigma?”

“Well, I think so. I don’t feel like I’m making awful puns…”

“Sigma, you said awful! And not pawful!”

“You’re right!”

In the excitement, Diana had grabbed onto Sigma, giving him a tight hug. His face heated up in a blush, and he looked away awkwardly as soon as Diana pulled back.

“S-so, uh.. w-we should probably go back to my place now, huh? I-I’d love to stay and pet the cats some more, but my mom will be purrty angry if we stay much longer…”

Diana giggled a bit at the pun, knowing it was part of Sigma’s unfortunate new tic but still able to enjoy it, considering it wasn’t permanent anymore. Sigma just scratched his arm awkwardly- he’d have to get used to this, wouldn’t he…

* * *

Outside of the Dcom Experimental Facility, Sigma and Diana watched as everyone started to shuffle around, getting into cars to leave. Sigma, was about to encourage Diana to start doing the same, when he felt something pelt him in the back of his head. He turned to find a little knit doll of a black and white cat, lovingly thrown at his skull by Phi. He picked it up, examining it, before saying anything.

“Where’d you find this, Phi? It’s a litter weird to have a knit furrend with you, then chuck it at my head fur no reason.”

Phi sighed, pretended not to hear Sigma’s tick, and explained.

“Found it back in Dcom, and I figured it was yours. Completely forgot about it with all that decision game shit, though. Why, is it not yours?”

“Nope, I’m pawsitive. But I’d be pawsitively happy to hold onto it, if needed.”

“Knock yourself out, old man.”

Phi had clearly already moved on, but Diana was staring at Sigma with shock on her face.

“N-no way….”

“Diana? Are you alright?”

“Sigma! Did you go to Brightcrest elementary school?”

“H-huh? How’d you know that?”

“Because I did too!”

Her eyes were shining, but Sigma was still confused- his body may be 22, but his mind was still 67, after all. It’d take a little while to remember _anything_ that far back, however…

“W-wait, no way. That transfer student- that was _you?!_ ”

“Yes! Oh my god, I always thought I’d just made up that memory! But wait- does that mean you actually _were_ cursed to talk like cats?”

Sigma sighed, and shook his head. In all the years he’d had to live, between all the shifting he’d undergone, that was the one thing that had plagued his scientific career. Sigma Klim was a realist, and an atheist- he didn’t believe in any gods, or anything that couldn’t be explained by science- and yet, he was still completely and fully able to talk to cats. Even at 67 years old after the apocalypse, while living on the moon.

“The simple answer is… yes. Yes, believe I was.”

“Sigma, that’s…. kind of adorable, actually.”

A blush made its way onto his face, and he looked aside quickly.

“Does Phi know?”

“What, about the old bastard’s cat tic? Yeah, I know all about it. Unfortunately.”

Sigma sighed and shook his head, but Diana just laughed.

“Well, we should all get going now, anyways. Maybe we can get Sigma a cat once we’re out of this desert.”

Phi chuckled at Diana’s suggestion, but Sigma’s eyes held a quiet sparkle- as though he was completely and genuinely behind that suggestion. Theirs was going to be an incredibly odd family, but at least it would be an interesting one…

**Author's Note:**

> I love childhood friend fluff and i love Sigma and Diana and i love cats so this is the best thing


End file.
